Fatal flaw

8 years ago, Teacher Salmi (our English teacher) told us to answer the questions given in the paper she gave us.

The very first question (which I could never forget) was: Are you a good listener?

As a mere 14-year-old teenage girl, I answered: I don't think so.

Then the next day, when Teacher Salmi gave everyone their work back, she asked me to come to her.

And she asked "Why did you answer like this?" with a meaningful look on her face.

I was surprised by her question and thought what did other people wrote in the paper? Wasn't it the same answer?

I answered her without thinking "Because I don't think I am a good listener,". Being honest, as honest as a 14-year-old can be.

She continued asking "What makes you think you're not?"

"Because.... I don't like to listen to people. Sometimes I feel it's useless. I mean people complaining, criticizing, whining, it's...."

Teacher Salmi gave me a deep smile.

"Sarah, everybody wants to be listened to. You can't continue being a bad listener. You need to listen to people. Spare some time and open up your heart to listen. Yes, sometimes it seems like a waste of time. But trust me, it'll improve your relationship with everyone. You'll need someone to listen to you too,"

Teacher Salmi left a huge impact in my life. Before she left, (she was a 'guru praktikal' at our school at that time) I wrote to her "Teacher, I'll turn over a new leaf,".

She's not just a teacher. She's a friend. A motivator. An excellent listener. 

God how I missed her.

She once let me read the report that she prepared to send to her supervisor. I was surprised she let me read it. And was even more surprised my name was mentioned in it =). I still kept the copy she gave me. Can't wait to go home to read it again. 

From her, I learned to be a good listener. A good companion. 

Yesterday, I made a huge mistake. Repeating the fatal flaw I had during my early teenage life. The flaw that I'd sworn myself to throw it away, but seemingly it's still there within me.

My deepest apology to you, whom had been so patient with this attitude of mine.

Turning over a new leaf needs a deep thought and a huge step to be made in life.

Maybe when I decided to turn over a new leaf 8 years ago, I didn't completely eradicate the fatal flaw of mine.

And now, even as a grown up, I still have many more to learn.

Please show me the right thing to do whenever you see me doing it wrong.

I cracked yesterday because I was too tired, I cried so hard that it hurts me in the chest. The left side of the chest. The vital organ present in there. I cried for breaking my promise to listen to people. And I'm sorry, for not listening.

Please don't hate me for that. I'm just a mere homosapien too.



p/s: I wish I could meet Teacher Salmi, have a cup of tea and chat about life with her =)

2 Jun *updated*

Assalamualaikum warahmatullah.

1. Awal pagi hari ini kawasan Ismul Waili mengalami blackout time Subuh. Tak tahulah kalau satu Abbasiah pun terlibat. Barangkali sebab sini kawasan pro Murtabak, maka mungkin seluruh kawasan sini protes keputusan hakim mahkamah.

2. Keputusannya, Murtabak dipenjarakan seumur hidup kerana overdose kalori dan lemak, lalu sangat membahayakan kesihatan. Tapi sayang. Sepatutnya murtabak sebegitu kita hapuskan terus. Buat apa simpan simpan. Nanti berkulat. Lagi susah mamak nak handle.

3. Pagi-pagi dapat mesej "Saya dapat ambil gambar dengan ayah chik.hihi". Pagi-pagi dah bikin orang jeles >___<.

4. Entah mimpi apa, saya bangun pagi terus minum susu. Barangkali sebab dah seminggu lebih tak minum. Cuak pula bila fikir orang perempuan ni lebih berisiko terhadap osteoporosis. Tapi bila minum susu, perut buat hal. Tak apalah. Asal ada usaha.

5. Pagi ni dia send gambar ibu ayah tengah makan kat kenduri. sobs. Terharu gila!! Dah lama tak tengok wajah ibu ayah. Almaklumlah, webcam rosak -______-". Terima kasih ya. Terubat rindu.

6. Kahwin untuk berjuang. Nak berjuang, perlu paksa diri. Maka perlu kahwin paksa? (haha. equation tak betul). Kepada dia, terima kasih ya! Terima kasih kerana faham.

7. Saya ditanya "Mana pipi awak?". Jawapannya, pipi saya dah lari!

8. Hari ni buang tebiat ajak SS pegi makan Mo'men. Ya, saya mesti buat apa sahaja supaya appetite saya kembali seperti sediakala! Maka apabila tiba di sana, like a boss saya mengorder seafood sandwich. Baru makan french fries dua tiga ketul dah loya. lulz. Apo ni janggg..... Dogheh dogheh la sihat eh tuu.

9. "Perhubungan bukan sekadar bercinta di awan putih, tapi berjuang di atas tanah bagi membawa ummat ke langit".

10. Go green!

11. *updated*
OMG!! I forgot to write the most important update on earth! My dear friend, 'Afifah Azam alhamdulillah, telah selamat melahirkan seorang mujahid pagi tadi, waktu Malaysia. Syukur. Yeay, dapat anak buah! hehe. Tahniah achik & suami. Moga semua sihat selalu & sentiasa diberkati Allah. Rasa macam nak cop anak achik buat menantu. Tapi kena bincang dengan bakal suami dulu. lol. berangan! =p
Moga membesar menjadi anak yang soleh, yang menyambung perjuangan achik & suami =).

bunga-bunga cinta. lol~

p/s: kepada nenek, maaf jika tak cukup comel =)

So lame...

I know,

I know,

so lame

to listen to this song.

But who cares?

haha~

Hold my hand

Hold my hand

Step by step

We walk together

Till the end!

Love is...

The best love is when you find someone who makes your Imaan rise, who makes you more pious and who helps you here in the dunya because that person wants to meet you again in Jannah.

“Ketika Allah menginginkan dua hati bertemu, Dia akan menggerakkan keduanya sekali. Tidak hanya salah satu.”

—	Ustaz Don Daniyal

"The man dreams of a perfect woman,

and the woman dreams of a perfect man.

And they don't know that Allah created them to perfect one another"

Ehh...ape post jiwang nih?


Aha. Saje je. Kartun-kartun ni comel. Dah lama jumpa. Nak share dengan dunia. 


Kalau saya reti melukis, mesti best dapat buat kartun macam ni. Lepas tu boleh tunjuk kat anak-anak sambil berkata "This is how I met your daddy". keh keh keh


And then I wonder if they will be tercengang for the beauty of my drawing or the flow of the weird love story of their parents. haha

"Engagement period is a challenging time for both sides. It tests our faith towards God. Towards His time, towards His plans. Patience is what it takes to keep you on track"

=)