Right now I feel like closing my eyes tightly and imagining to be at Fraser's Hill...or somewhere else enriched with nature. I just want to see some green views with fresh air and feel the cold air on my skin. Easy to say, I need a break. I need a break from all these dramatic lifestyle I'm having right now. I wish to spend some days with mom, dad and bro somewhere peaceful and green. Or perhaps an island with crystal clear water, white fine sand and calming sea breeze. Hoping that my mind and heart will pull themselves together. Well, that's just my own idea of relaxing or so called 'taking a break' from this topsy turvy life.
Why am I writing in English out of a sudden?? Simply because I want to and I feel like my English is decreasing from something to zero, as a result of lack of usage. Gosh....what a waste. Sometimes I wonder what caused it to happen and what did I used to do to maintain and increase my ability to speak and write in that language. Two years ago, I enjoyed watching movies, programmes, documentaries, sports news, interviews and even tv commercials. I learnt something beneficial for my future from those. I also used to read books, novels, articles and even flyers. And guess what? The dictionary was my best friend. I gained a lot from those habits.
I could speak fluently with courage even in front of public. I participated in the English debate competition three years in a row. I tried writing and composing short stories until I completed a novel. I entered an essay writing competition and won some amount of money. The memories were so sweet that I felt really grateful for having the chances. How I missed those days...
I fell in love with writing about a few years ago, when I was 14, if I'm not mistaken. I felt like I had created a new world, the world of mine in which I designed everything. Moreover, I was not used to share problems with others. So I used writing to express my thoughts. With encouragement from my teachers, I improved my writing skills. I felt really happy when I was writing that I brought the two precious things everywhere I went: a book and a pencil. I believed the saying 'A pen is mightier than the sword' which was painted on the wall of my primary school.
I wrote about everything that happened around me. Every new person I met, when by chance I experienced a wonderful event with him or her, I would write something interesting as a memory. Sometimes I created an imaginary stories after I watched movies that inspired me to do so.
To me, writing is such a beautiful activity to do. But recently, that habit seems to be taken away from me. I can hardly reach a pencil and a book. Or even if I manage to begin a story, it doesn't reach an ending. The enthusiasm at the beginning floats away slowly, very slowly until at the middle of the story, I rub my eyes, close my book and move away from my desk. It's a strange syndrome that takes me away from my favourite habit. This year, I haven't written any story at all, not even a short one. Pathetic, very pathetic (T.T)
Now I have a new interest, quite a nice one though.
-PHOTOGRAPHY-
Not sure what attracts me towards photography, but I just really addicted to it now. From photography I learn new things and skills: The right way to shoot good pics, the right angle, the perfect light, the perfect scene, editing photos, Adobe Photoshop, flickr, stumbleupon, various photography websites and more. I even learn new things about camera. A camera isn't just about taking photos, snapping this and that. It's more than just a snap. It feels like a whole new world...colourful and interesting. Wish to have the latest, most up-to-date unreasonably expensive camera (no matter what brand and model it is, huhu). But that's still just a dream. Perhaps I could request from my future husband one day as a gift. Hehe~
Well, as time passes, things change. But I still miss my old habits and interests. My English isn't that good anymore. And my interest in debate had fade away entirely. The reason for such change might be caused by the fact that 'debaters are liars' and I'm tired of lying just to win the competition. And oh yeah...how could I not forget the strange expression most debaters would give when I started to speak and babble my points out. It's annoying for having to explain that I never live in England and it's not a weird scenario if I use British accent despite I never went to the country. The easiest way....stop debating. Nobody will ask anything. Chill!
I miss to watch tv with my dad, buy new books with mom, watch football matches and commenting them with my brother, write new stories and think the way I used to. Feel like returning to those days and keep them still, not fading away from me.
-confused-
But hey....wake up! I'm here in Egypt now...having to live somewhere alienated at first, but thank God, I'm well-adapted to the environment. But still...haven't found the answer to my major problem: falling asleep during lectures!!
Not interested?? Maybe that could be considered as the reason. But I don't hate medical subjects. I like them of course. Why am I still falling asleep without my will? Pretty strange, huh? Hopefully, this sickness will go away soon....
9 play the melodies:
doc,if u don't mind,i recommend u to buy some sweet or chewing gum before u enter to the class...hope it can help u gain some strength...or u can bring some water...
13 December 2009 at 00:11i think this is exactly the thing that my aunt used to say to me before i made up my mind to go for medicine. she said something about having to sacrifice a part of yourself (in this case your interests) to become a good doctor. i mean, it's good that we become doctors, we get to learn and understand cool stuff that other people don't but then again, there are certain things that we won't be able to do like going for business or become writers. at least until we graduated and become respectable medical officers, iA.
13 December 2009 at 07:06so the syndrome of missing yourself from before is quite normal. i think. hehe.
my case is the same as yours. i love writing more than i like medicine. never once in my entire life i thought of becoming a doctor. i hated those science subjects during high school with a passion and yet i'm a pure science student? oh, what irony~ but by some twist of fate, here i am. (actually, i'm blaming my dad for sweet-talking me into this. haha)
so let's work hard to become awesome doctors, yeah? =)
Thanks farahnur. I think it'll be better if we can be good doctor and good writer at the same time. It's not impossible, right? Just like diana said during the meeting: we should be an all-rounder. Especially in this modern world. The more we can do, the more possibility to survive. So let's do both things together, combine them in a harmony and well-managed way. Shall we? ;)
13 December 2009 at 13:05Medic+photography+writing=awesome!
alriteyyy~ btw, i'm also interested in photography nowadays. know any good websites for beginners? ;D
13 December 2009 at 14:54Try stumbleupon, and don't forget to choose photography among your interests. It'll help you a lot (^_~)
13 December 2009 at 16:28best of luck! i kn0w u can d0 it dear~
13 December 2009 at 18:12tak nak jd debater dah? ana baru nak cadang enti masuk debate kat kuliah...kita lawan nigerian,amacam? nnti ana jmpa Dr Taher eh...
15 December 2009 at 22:00OMG...anonymous, siapakah anda? Diana ek? Haha. Bukan xnak langsung, cuma nanti ana takut berlakunya tradisi 'menipu utk menang'. Kalau dah debat, sume nak menang. Xkire dah putar belit fakta. Lg 1, susah bg pihak lawan kalau pihak lg 1 guna accent yg bbeza (british). Kalau xsilap, nigerian guna american accent. Mesti diorang pening dengar org guna british accent. But that could be a challenge for them right? Hehe. Good idea. Rasenye, ramai lg debater handalan among classmates kita. Selamat mencari ;)
16 December 2009 at 00:11ermm... tpi jgn sampai skill debate 2 ilang lak... ade je guna dia kan... still... pandai debate 2 satu kelebihan... tapi kena ilmiah r kan- kena tajamkan akal n ade pendirian yg teguh- semua 2 penting dlm hidup
17 December 2009 at 13:30Post a Comment