Take it easy

TOO LONG TO BE TRUE.

That's the best description for her period of 'reconstruction'. She doesn't even know how many days, or weeks, or months it will take. Every single day, she lives her life trying to find the answer. When the day has come to an end, she always feel another frustration for not being able to change, or at least feel an improvement within herself. She hates to tell others about her problems, complications, difficulties and all sorts of stuffs that keep on bothering her mind. She has a life principle in which she believes she can stand on her feet and God is always there for her. For being able to survive with such principles, little of her friends know what is actually going on with her. The others see her as a cheerful, confident and determined person who seems to have the least problem on earth. For such reason again, it takes so long for her to get up from a fall.

"Get well soon. I can't wait to defeat you in exams. At least in a fair way, 'cos you're sick now. Hope to see the old you!" the words sang in her head days after days. The words were given by her friend and at the same time, foe. He was an old school friend, who had always been her challenger whenever it comes to exams and study. They did very well for high school, that they both got excellent results and deserved to further their studies overseas. Not just them, but several of their friends too. It was a joy to challenge each other and see everyone succeed. It will be even more enjoyable if the tradition is continued up till now, where she fails to challenge, even with her own self. Sighs.

Day by day, her friends continue to excel while she is left far behind. They realize the change in her, but they dare not to ask anything because they believe she is strong enough to survive. At first she slowly struggle to survive, but within months she started to feel exhausted. She started to deny almost all her abilities given by God. She began to refuse taking any responsibility on works and tasks. She tried her best to say 'no' although deep in her heart, she cursed herself for doing so. She loses her confidence slowly and progressively until she feels like she has no more courage to stand on her feet, standing in line with her friends, succeeding with them. But still, her close friends never leave her behind.

"It's not always necessary to get up after falling. The best way one can do is to wait and observe for the best opportunity and the right time to get up again and be a better person," said one of her dearest friends, Hani. Those words touched her heart deeply that they meant so much to her and gave her hope to continue surviving. At least, there's still hope and light for her.

Then came the song which reminded her of her past times, of her great times, of the times when there were always smile and spirit on her face. 'YOU RAISE ME UP'. Achik, one of her dearest friends sent her that song, to add up some more hopes for her. She read the lyrics slowly, trying to get the feeling of hope and strength. It was one of the songs she used to listen to years ago, whenever hard times came her way. Yet she survived the hard times successfully. Now she knows, it is the time to survive again, with even greater success.

"I've been through those days too. You need some time to think. Think deeply. Give yourself some time," said the same friend who was still waiting for her challenge. Now he knows her state of reconstruction. Yet he still gives her the 'words of challenge' to chill her up. To keep her on track, not to lose hope. "You are better than me,". The words she can never and will never forget, given by the smartest friend she has ever had. She tried hard to admit his statement and deep in her heart, she believed it's always true.

Just some more time to think, observe and take action.